Dear Teenage Diary,
I went to Jono Robinson’s party with Sheila, her friend Louise, and Claudia. It started off totally shit because there were hardly any people, we were in a field, and it was fucking freezing. For most of the time we were all sat in a caravan trying to keep warm. Sheila was totally pissed off because Percy and Bernadette were together and I think she planned to get off with him. It did however liven up when Raymond’s friend came down called Kenneth. He was totally gorgeous and me, Claudia, Sheila, Louise, and Kimberley fancied the butt of him. Raymond introduced us all and he gave us a hug. Lush!
Later on he came back with a beer in his hand. I swear he was like talking to me more than the others and he had one of those really cheeky faces and a luscious hat on. Anyway, I guess I went into flirt mode and said, “let’s have some of your beer then” so I took it off him and he said, “follow me”. I gave his beer back and followed him to his car, the others followed too because they were so gutted. He opened the boot and let us all grab a beer. His mate, who was sat in the front, opened them with his teeth. We then sort of all wandered off. Claudia didn’t have one, so later Raymond went to get one for her and I went with him to show where Kenneth’s car was. Then I bumped into Pansy Luck in a car so I started having a chat to her and she gave me a fag. Kenneth came over and said, “I don’t think we’ve been introduced” so they told him who I was and he hugged me. Then somehow he was leaning against the car hugging me. I just said something corny like, “you’re really warm”. We were there for about five minutes before he got called away but he told me to wait, so I stayed and talked to Pansy.
He did come back and shouted out, “you waited.” So I said, “yeah I was talking to Pansy” just as an excuse. So he started hugging me again and then we got off with one another. As much as he was totally sweet he wasn’t that good a kisser, but I think that was because he was slightly drunk. But he did make little noises and that was a real turn on. He also had a really large lump in his trousers. Steamy. His mate told me he was hung like a horse. I met his housemate and Pansy’s cousin. They were just generally egging him on. He was 18. Wow, I’ve got off with an 18 year old. Cool. I was only properly with him for about 15 minutes though because I had to go. If I’d have stayed the night he would have shagged me, he was dropping enough hints. I gave him one last kiss then left. I’ll never see him again, even though he does live in Malmesbury, and he’s got a girlfriend. I don’t regret getting off with him, but it was the most exciting part of the night. The scariest part of the night was when Dawson Robinson was stood behind me and he lifted up my skirt. I just pushed it down again and turned round. He scares me shitless. Then Jono tried it so I turned round and said, “get off me will you” and he just walked away.
*All names have been changed from those in my monthly teenage diary to protect the not so innocent.
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Becky Stafferton is a full time blogger over on her website The Art of Healthy Living, mum of 2 and certified Queen of the hashtags. She continually strives to promote a realistic, sustainable and positive image of how to lead a healthy life. When she’s not writing or reading her teenage diary she can be found swigging Prosecco from the bottle, running through muddy puddles, making lists of lists, having a good old moan, scoffing flapjacks and squatting like her life depends on it.